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JEAN SEGURA

Can you picture him in a slump?  Either can I.  Once in a while you have that experience where you eagerly try the Sonic Route 44 Diet Cherry Sprite -- and find out it's not only delicious, but comes with a deluxe retro styrofoam cup, a lime wedge, a cherry and a hard candy sitting on the lid.  The D-Backs would trade us back Ketel and Taijuan for EITHER of our prize possessions.

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BEN GAMEL

Along with the previous entry, is making the first inning as fun as a K-Pax start.  After Wednesday, Dr. D did wonder even further about Gamel's ability to turn around a 96 MPH fastball, which is (1) a skill hilariously overrated by Macho Coin Of The Realm baseball scouts anyway, and (2) probably due to the fact that he makes sure to SEE every pitch before he swings at it.

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NELSON CRUZ

Had two separate RBI events Wednesday, one based on PWR (a sac fly) and one based on HIT (a grounder to score a guy from 3B with 1 out).  Has 36 RBI in 40 games now.

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KYLE SEAGER

They talked about how his HR's have been clutch.   Remember a few years ago when he led baseball in the Fangraphs CLUTCH stat?  That tapered off for him.  Not that I'll trade him to you.

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DANNY VALENCIA

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TAYLOR MOTTER

Went 0-for-4 with a strikeout and his stock went down exactly 0 in my eyes.  He is staying cellar-calm at the plate, even thanking the umps when they rip him off, and seemed as happy to be in the big leagues as when he is on a homer binge.

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BOOG POWELL

Had a big night.  A single, an impressive walk, and a flabbergasting African Ibexx-like dash into third base when Tuffy bunted a ball on two hops right to the pitcher.  Pete Rose didn't clear that kind of air on a base dive.  You remember how Pat Gillick had a supernatural feel for Civics?  Maybe Jerry Dipoto has that with regard to .450 OBP minor league players nobody else wants?

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GUILLERMO HEREDIA

Played center, perhaps not even because Jar-Rod was tweaked.  Making way for Boog Powell.  On cue, produced two extremely pleasant rundowns in either gap.

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TUFFY GOSEWISCH

Seems like a nice enough guy.  His travails at the plate are shock-inducing, and that's coming from a blogger who watched the "Mendoza Line" term (a .199 AVG) coined in the Kingdome.  An attempt to BUNT on Wednesday had Dr. D (and the unies in the dugout, we're sure) looking away in respect for the game and Tuffy.  Like we always say, this guy is younger, richer, more talented and more privileged than me; it's an American League standard that must be invoked to ignite our (short) countdown to termination of this project.

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MIKE ZUNINO

Never imagined Tuffy's kind of pain in his worst nightmares.  However, he is 2-for-his-last-5-games in Tacoma and some other solution must be found.  Who knows what Steve Baron is in the American League, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

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Drafting the playoff teams,

Dr D