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Military officers are sworn to obey LAWFUL orders. An order to strafe civilians would be unlawful, and refusal to comply would result in an investigation (using the helo's gun camera or other evidence) and probably that would be it. During the Gulf War, pilots used their discretion on firing on Iraqi units that were surrending or appeared they'd given up. During the more recent conflicts, I have been told that much discretion is allowed if American units are not under fire.
If the order is given to strafe an AREA containing hostile forces firing on American troops, and there are civilians in the area, the order is lawful under specific rules of engagement (ROE) that (always) call for minimizing "collateral damage" which is damage to property or injury to innocent civilians. In insurgent or guerilla war, particularly in inhabited areas, that is difficult at best and may depend on weapons load, etc. An F-18 is not going to return to the carrier to rearm with smart bombs if the 20mm cannon will immediately resolve danger to troops, even though strafing is notoriously undiscriminating (think about firing a gun from a car doing 60, then imagine doing it at 200kts while trying to avoid ground fire). Thus, pilots are officers expected to use their judgement in carrying out tasks, and are backed if the collateral damage is considered excessive by those who do not know the context, but the action results in saving the lives of American troops. In cases of excessive collateral damage or endangering your aircraft or American troops, the pilot is fully liable for his actions, and violation of the rules of engagement is extremely serious.
One sticky issue that came up in Viet Nam and continues to be a problem, is that the Laws of War (not really Laws but International treaties signed after meetings at the Hague and Geneva over the past few centuries) do not apply to partisans (who can be shot when captured, as both sides did during WWII) or any armed force which is not state-controlled and/or does not fight in a distinctive uniform. By the Laws of War as strictly read, an ununiformed armed person who takes a shot at an American is a criminal, not a soldier. Much of the discussion about treatment of prisoners, and about tactics in the Wars from Viet Nam on, revolves around legal interpretations of the Laws of War to apply them to insurgents and partisans, and to provide guidance in preparing rules of engagement and for treatment of prisoners that actually unilaterally (since Al-Qaeda isn't sending reps to the U.N. meetings or White House conferences) extend the Laws of War beyond any intent of the original negotiators or signatories.
As to what one signs up for: the time to determine what you signed up for is 1) when you sign up, or 2) prior to engaging in combat. Although #2 will probably result in an investigation and administrative action that will ruin a career and result in an uncomplimentary separation without benefits, it would not be a crime. Once a unit is in combat under rules of engagement, officers are responsible to obey all lawful orders under those rules, and to see to it that enlisted personnel obey them AND remain within the LIMITS of the ROE and Laws of War, as interpreted for the conflict. Refusal to engage or otherwise obey a direct order from an officer while engaged with the enemy is potentially a capital offense. This, incidentally, is the reason for "fragging" as occurred a few times in the Viet Nam War - no officer, no lawful order. Exceeding the limits of the ROE or operational order makes any soldier criminally liable for his actions.
Rules of Engagement are far more important than civilians realize. If an officer objects to the rules of engagement, he or she could put those disagreements in writing prior to being engaged in combat. This would probably result in getting to review the rules with a JAG lawyer and your C.O. I am aware of instances dating back to WWII where review has resulted in changes that later review found to be correct. Before an armed aircraft launches from a carrier, or a unit enters an operational area where they could come under fire, or before a unit is issued orders authorizing deadly force (such as to protect weapons on a U.S. base, or during times of civil unrest such as Katrina) the unit personnel are briefed on the rules of engagement. Usually the officers are briefed by JAG lawyers, and allowed to discuss any questions. The ROE is approved and then orders given. The officers then brief the units under their command or in their charge. At that point, all personnel are under legal obligation to obey the operational order (usually written) and all written or verbal orders from officers and supervisory enlisted personnel to accomplish those orders. If they feel they cannot they must say so then and there.
Sorry this is a bit long, but it is an important issue to anyone in the military or law enforcement who is ever authorized to use deadly force or who engages in combat. Taking of human life is a serious business. Those who do it for the defense of our country take it seriously, for all the talk of zapping or neutralizing or any other euphemism for killling an enemy. Dying for your country is still the greatest love one can have for your fellow citizens, whether they reciprocate or not. I have traveled and lived in countries that do not have our freedoms. I would not want to live there. I believe that the freedoms in our Constitution have a reality that many Americans do not recognize, but are the rights of every human on this earth. Defending and extending them is a noble cause.