In college, I worked summers as a garbageman. One of the grosser parts of my job was dealing with meat, usually rotting fish, that had fermented in the hot sun and had maggots wallowing in it. At that time, we had hydraulic tippers and cans on wheels, so you didn't have to hold the can when it reached the tipping point, and possibly splashed you with maggot juice mixed with restaurant grease and whatever else you had collected that day. You just worked the controls at arms length, and surveyed the damage once things had settled down in the hopper. Sometimes, however, I had to deal with cans of maggots that didn't have the hardware to connect to the hydraulic tippers. On one occasion, we had to pick a can with no lid that was full of rotting deer hides putrefacted for a month in 200 pounds of rain water. This can also didn't have the necessary hardware to connect to the hydraulic tipper. The owner of this can was our bosses boss, so we wanted to be sure and do a good job.
As we struggled to lift a 200 lb can, some of this rainwater splashed on my garbage partner, and I thought he was going to die of chain gagging before he poured a gallon or so of raw bleach on himself.
True story.
That is the filthiest thing I can think of, unless we are talking about Hepatitis C or some other unclean thing.
The 2016 Mariners starting rotation is filthier than that. I'm talking about a rotation so nasty, that you might not trade it to the Dodgers or Mets even steven. I can't ever remember a Mariners team with this good of starting pitching. Felix Kuma Miley Walker Paxton and Karns is a group so toxic that that the Mariners grounds crew will have trouble keeping the Safeco infield grass green.
More than 60 years ago, J.R.R. Tolkein foresaw the 2016 Mariners home opening series on April 8, 9, and 10th and wrote about it in one of his books:
"The Orcs reeled and screamed and cast aside both sword and spear. Like a black smoke driven by a mounting wind they fled. Wailing, they passed under the waiting shadow of the trees, and from that shadow, none ever came again."
Be afraid, be very afraid.