I Mojician,
being of sound mind mind and body, being of at least 18 years of age, and not acting under duress, threats, or undue influence, and being fully apprised that in the event the Mariners make the wild card game I am to be humiliated worse than that time Doc picked the 'Niners at Quest and was reprimanded by Richard Sherman, hereby pronounce, declare, assert and proclaim:
Wait, (Stands on tippy toes and goes full soprano).
THE MARINERS ARE TOAST!
Let's repeat that in Spanish.
¡LOS MARINEROS ESTAN TOSTADO!
Did I get the estar form right?
My reasons are as follows:
1. The Mariners are the streakiest team that ever streaked, but they consistently can't get over their humps. If they ever get to +3, then they are sure to be swept the next time out. Edgar weekend cemented this for me. 2. The Mariners consistently lose head to head matchup against the good teams. They have lost every series to the Stros and the Yankees this year. They have lost to the Indians. They lost to the Nats. They are even against Boston but that's about it. The Mariners look like monsters when there are Orcs or Braves to slay. They are about as good as the Angels, in that their talents and their holes are very apparent.
3. Offense teams with poor starting pitching only work great when the three run bombs are flowing. Even the best offense cannot carry you every night. I think the Mariners offense is a highlight and far better than its run scored place on the totem pole because they play at Safeco. Correspondingly, the pitching might be worse than we suspected. Many moon shots off Erasmo get Safeco'd in left center. That's just how it is. 4. The Mariners don't believe they are a top flight team without a #1 pitcher to carry them. The Paxton streak was real because the team rallied around him. Felix and Kuma are done and there is no 200 inning man to replace them.
That said, I think the Mariners are exciting. Ben Gamel and Mitch Haniger are 24K gold. Ben is a tougher out. Haniger has more pop. They both are better than the unlegendary outfields we've been talking about for the last 15 years.
The Mariners infield is great. All of them.
That said, I know what I know.