Wow Doc, here I thought I was being clever staking out territory in the skeptics corner. I figured if the Mariners play badly, I was right, and gloating ensues. If I'm wrong, everyone gets caught up in the first playoff appearance in franchise history* and forgets completely about me and my blown call, just like everyone forgets about the ump who cost Galarraga that perfect game. But no! Now you've made me out to be the ringleader of an apathetic mutiny, and I'm obligated to live and die for the cause! And to take the opportunity to slander my name by bringing up the time I suggested Yo might not be the second coming of Carlos Silva... I'm offended sir. A man should not be judged by his worst moments. That's why we can't judge Donald Trump by his Access Hollywood blunder... or was it the time he called Mexicans "murderers and rapists"... or when he insulted that Gold Star family... or said John McCain was a loser... or Charlottesville...
Okay, okay. Joking aside, I do want to go on the record that I am leaning into my solo, thank you very much. It's not that the Mariners are making me depressed, although they might do that if I remained invested. No, the honest truth is that I just don't think this is a good team. That's not to say they're a bad one. They have far too much talent, and Scott & Jerry are manning the pumps far too emphatically for them to be bad. They're just aggressively average, with practically no plausible upside to be found. You can see the 3-game losing streaks that follow the 3-game winning streaks coming a mile away these days.
We've dropped 2 to the Astros, as everyone knew we would. We even managed to heroically overcome 6 no-hit innings last night to stave off victory and salvage the debut of the beloved Justin Verlander. Guys who marry supermodels are just the best, aren't they? That's why everyone loves Tom Brady and Donald - oh gee there I go again.
There are 23 games left. We will lose tonight to Lance McCurveball, ~99.578% probability. Then we need to go, what like 16-6 down the stretch to make it? What have these players ever, ever, ever done to suggest they are capable of that?
Okay, flag planted. Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
PS: "Wretched refuse" has a nice ring to it. I always thought Yo was an odd moniker, maybe he should try a more appropriate one...