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It is, perhaps, a failure of my character. I can intellectually view the Astros as a model way to fix a deeply flawed front office culture and turn perennial lolcows into juggernauts. I can envy the amazing talent they've amassed and the sustainability of their model. I can never...ever...ever...love them.
In fact, all I can really do is hate them with a seething, all-consuming passionate rage when the Mariners play them.