The article reads like an $8 drink that you're embarrassed to say you like. Bill James' strong disdain for Albert Pujols is the rainbow unicorn sprinkles on the top. Rooting for the Angels to be terrible is almost as much fun as rooting for the Mariners to be great.
If Pujols becomes epic deadweight, he might become a black hole that de Trouts the Halos line up. It will go something like this:
Kinsler with a sharp hit to Jean Segura. Kinsler out at first.
Trout hits a double on a line drive to center field. Gordon throws the ball to third and holds Trout at 2B.
Justin Upton strikes out swinging. Trout steals 3B.
Albert Pujols with a swing that the announcers mistakenly call a bunt attempt. The ball rolls ten feet down the first base line. Zunino fields the ball, runs down Pujols and tags him with it less than half way to first base. Trout dives for home plate and gives himself a clap thinking he scored a run. He frowns with shock when the umpire refuses to give him a run. Boos ensue from 22,000 Angels fans. The Mariners head to the dugout with extra fist bumps for Zunino. Sciosca hobbles onto the field and starts talking about the umpires' mother. He is ejected. Angels lose by a run.